Self-reflection

The countdown has begun. I have less than a month left in South Africa and so much I want to accomplish before it’s time to go home. Time has flown by extremely fast, and I cannot believe it’s almost time to leave this beautiful country. I still remember the first day I arrived at Cape Town International Airport on a rainy night in my Howard hoodie and leggings, freezing my butt off. Now I wouldn't dare walk outside in anything more than a sun dress as the days have been filled with sunshine and are growing more and more beautiful as my departure date approaches. Not only have the seasons changed, though. The Black, American girl (or "African American") who boarded the plane in Washington, D.C. on July 2nd is not the same AFRICAN woman who will be stepping foot in America for the first time in months on November 27th.  Studying abroad in South Africa has truly been a life-changing experience for me. I came to South Africa to STUDY abroad: attend lectures, complete course assignments, and as my mother does not hesitate to remind me whenever possible, make good grades. However, since arriving in South Africa, I have learned more about who Dontranika is than I have anything else.

I have discussed various aspects of my study abroad experience to date, but I have not spoken about my academic experiences at my temporary institution, The University of the Western Cape. Let’s just say my academic study abroad experiences have been anything but blissful. I, Dontranika Horton, do not endorse the educational practices implemented in South Africa. The professors are subpar and the grading scale is ineffective at measuring the mental capacity of its students, but I digress. The classes I am taking here are very interesting and deal with topics such as gender, race, oppression, identities, and last but certainly not least, South African history; however, the course load and expectations for many of my classes are OC (out of control). It was definitely a challenging semester, as far as my academics are concerned, but now that it is exam season all I can do is study hard and pray for the best!

On a brighter note, the cultural experiences I have had here in South Africa have been absolutely amazing! As I said previously, I learned a lot about who I am as an individual and what my identity is as an African American woman.  Being BLACK, especially a black woman, means so many different things, even on the African continent. Am I supposed to be ghetto and poor? Is it okay for me to be educated? Am I supposed to be hypersexual? Is my role to stay at home and bear children? What about my hips, my lips, my naps? I have now accepted the fact that expectations for who I should be based on my gender, race, and socioeconomic status are not standards for how I should choose to live my life. Instead, it is up to me to make decisions for what imprint I would like to leave on this world before I perish. My identity is not shaped by how I look or where I come from, but by how I make sense of the world and interact with those around me. Yes I am a black, middle class woman from America, but more importantly I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover, a scholar, a teacher, a philosopher, a creative mind, a philanthropist, and a queen, and these are the concepts that I can never lose sight of because then I will have lost myself.

I have experienced every emotion from pleasure to anguish, and have seen sights as beautiful as Table Mountain and as ghastly as a community of people living in shacks. I have developed a new sense of gratitude for this life I am blessed to have, for all the opportunities I have been granted, and all the people who love and support me. I have begun a new spiritual journey in search of a deeper relationship with God, and so much more! Being away from my friends and family for so long has instilled in me a sense of autonomy and independence (I even learned to cook a little bit lol). Overall, studying abroad has been the most fulfilling experience of my life. During my time in South African, I have felt so free & more alive than I have ever been in my entire life. Away from the stresses and “hustle & bustle” of the antagonistic American culture, I have been able to try new things and experience a taste of the tranquil yet boisterous African culture with no inhibitions. Soon, I will return home with a clear mind & an open heart, ready to share the “new” me with all my loved ones. And I cannot wait to plan my next trip to the motherland! Next stop, Egypt?